arthur

One of my favorite scenes in “Arthur” was his initial incognito AA visit.

“I’m here because I’d like to drink less…” he says to the group.

Although (much like the majestic man playing him) Arthur would come to realize “less” wasn’t sufficient, some people do. This was a tough concept for me to comprehend initially. Could some alcoholics cut back? Did that make them not-really-alcoholics? And – more importantly – how do you know? I suppose it’s a trial and error thing. When you come right down to it, terms like “alcoholic” and “addict” are just words. You could call yourself a “compulsive pornography enthusiast”, but if you’re doing it till you’re power gets cut and you lose your job, guess what? You’re a smut junkie. So the answer is to do some deep introspection and see for yourself by applying your theory to reality. You try to cut back, and you either do alright or fall back into old habits. But what if the latter happens? Does that mean you can’t manage it – and must abstain? Maybe. Or maybe you just need the ears of others who’ve got the same proclivity. This is what Moderation Management (cute in it’s double abbreviation, like AA) seeks to do. Much like the abstinence based programs, they don’t seek dues or fees, they let people share, have a few steps of their own for you to follow, and encourage helping one another. Unlike abstinence based programs, however, there’s none of the – ya know – abstinence. Instead, they suggest toning down the imbibing to mayhaps three or four times a week. Per their site:

Moderation Management (MM) is a behavioral change program and national support group network for people concerned about their drinking and who desire to make positive lifestyle changes. MM empowers individuals to accept personal responsibility for choosing and maintaining their own path, whether moderation or abstinence. MM promotes early self-recognition of risky drinking behavior, when moderate drinking is a more easily achievable goal. MM is run by lay members who came to the organization to resolve personal issues and stayed to help others.

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I like the way he puts this – for all you know, you may realize you’re not an alcoholic or addict after all and find exactly what you need in MM. In argument on behalf of those 12 step meetings, though, I will say that you’re never prescribed a lifetime of anything. You come to realize that all you’ve got when it comes to decision making is ahora. The present. Right now. That’s where the whole “one day at a time” thing comes in.

So, I remain open-minded about it. (It’s part of my program to be, so I don’t have a choice.) That is, I’m open-minded to the idea that it might work really well for some. (Tough for me to concede, since I tend to be self centered and assume my way’s the only way.) In fact, there’re copious testimonials about how the tools MM offers seem to work well. Honestly, it might even work for someone like me. It might. But I know from a historical review that I personally might as well load one bullet in a chamber, press it to my temple, and try to fire away along with my firewater. That might seem dramatic – and it is. The disparity between my mindset above versus under the influence of anything mind altering is indeed nada short of dramatic. But that doesn’t mean it won’t work for you, if you’re realizing you’re having a few issues moderating but can’t conceive of a life sans booze. All of it rests on whether – once you get honest with yourself – you identify as someone who has enough of a challenge moderating that you shouldn’t drink altogether. And you know what? You don’t have to decide that alone. I say, if you’re struggling, try out either group. Because the most important thing isn’t just about whether you’re mostly sober or totally abstinent, but what’s driving you to carry on as you are. And the crucial thing – when you’ve got a compulsion adversely affecting your life – is to get out there and talk to others who “get it”, have been there, and can possibly help you realize just what caliber of liquor swigger you are. Who knows. Maybe MM’s exactly where you need to be.

Or maybe, like Arthur, you’ll realize it’s time to tweak your formerly blithe view on this vice and try the other fellowship.

(#WrongMovie #SimilarEnoughStoryline)

But the first step of any program isn’t written on the opening literature.

The first step’s attending any meeting at all.

So mayhaps start there.