deadlines

“Are you going to the meeting?”

In early recovery, this six worded inquiry was more powerful for a newcomer than anything else. Loaded. Open ended. Feather ruffling. (“Um, no, I wasn’t planning on it – but now that you’ve Jedi Mind Tricked me into guilt trippery, I’ve got two options: make an excuse… or go and unload my woes to someone who gives a shiz.”)

(“Here, we’re all sick. See you at six, bish.”)

But the second I committed – the second I uttered a reluctant, “yeah” to my sponsor, my mind hopped the fence from obsessive mode (which is where I was, obvi, if I’d hit up my sponsor to talk in the first place), to productivity mode. If I had a meeting at four, and I needed to get work done before then, then my day was suddenly less of a suffocating, malevolent, clock monster, ticking not one minute – but un-ignorable fixation – one a time. It was suddenly a series of finite moments to get accomplished whatever articles I needed to write or errands I needed to run before the non-negotiable ETD. In fact, this daily introduction was so effective early on in the prologue to the pharmaceutical part of my life novel, that it served (and still serves) me well into the second installment of my ongoing saga from surviving to thriving. It’s become so crucial that when I don’t have at least a mini-commitment injected in there, I start obsessing again. Lapsing into that addict mindset, getting lit on cyclic thinking. That’s why, to this day, I mainline deadlines into my day every day.

That’s also why, when I saw vlogger Matt Hussey’s spin on this from a non-addict standpoint, it made my brain organ light right up. Why? Because, like anyone who’s spent time in the step rooms of recovery, we all like to look at what we share in common with other folk. Even non addicts. And the fact that even non-addicts tend to get stuck in that ritualistic, self-sabotaging, cerebral spiral too – makes me feel less isolated and more validated. (Especially since this successful U.K. guru dude who wins at life does it.) He took a while to grow on me (most people who’ve also got strong personalities do – plus most’ve his vids are relationship related, which’s irrelevant to where my focus telescope’s currently aimed). Yet, I do tend to resonate with the life-hack type messages he spits on this channel. You might like to check him out, but for now, here’s his vid on productivity:

Digging the 21 year old blogger ref. from a dude that usually rocks a modern Bond look.

Yusss. This warrants a massive “YUSSS and”.

Which is exactly what I ended up sharing in my probably too long comment after viewing Mistah Hussey’s video: that making sure the nature of those deadlines is something where someone else is holding you (or your bank account) accountable. I think I may’ve mentioned this before in fitness or even sleep articles too – the beauty of accountability and how it leads to productivity, which ultimately leads to feelings of well-being. (The blanket cure being that we rest better, feeling-eat less, and avoid using when our internal landscape’s well manicured.) But the point is that – whether you’re going for getting sleep or lean or staying clean, the momentum that comes with productivity can be the secret key.

And the key to productivity itself is, you guessed it, accountability.

See, if it’s just me going for a run or heading to the grocery store, I subconsciously know I can put that off. No one’s going to be angry if I’m tardy for my workout or Wegman’s. But if it’s a yoga class I’ve paid for in advance, an appointment that charges a no show fee, or a friend who’d be pissed when I didn’t show up (and I’m American unlike Matt here, so that means “angry”, not “drunk” – though to be fair, he or she might be a bit of both if I’d stood them up at an imbibing establishment), then I’m far, far likelier to get all those necessary pre-requisites I need done early. And that’s because I’ve fail proofed my day for productivity by planting ramifications into its itinerary.

This might seem unrelated to recovery, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, this’s how I keep two jobs without using – by hacking my own inner fiend. See, productivity itself is addictive, once you get good at it. There’s a dopamine reward across accomplishment’s finish line. I just need the carrot of accountability to get me there. It’s the same way I’d reach my daily goals in early recovery earlier in the day – if I knew I had a meeting to get to to either lead or make coffee for. Fast forward to today, and the translation’s similar – but amplified. Now, I get more done before my eight hour workdays at the clinic than the days I’ve got off – because I know I’ve gotta be in there by ten. So, I wake up at four to squeeze in Vinyasa, jogging, writing (my second gig), and even a bit of cleaning. Why? ’cause I apparently care more about what my boss thinks at 10:15 A.M. (15 minutes after I’m meant to show up) than what future me thinks at 10:15 P.M. (when I’ve gotten negative three things accomplished from my list of today’s to-do’s). And, yeah, granted, copious caffeine is involved in all’ve this… but I’m led to believe (because: my chemical curriculum vitae) that there are far worse performance enhancers to which a chick could turn.

(Just pretend that’s green tea instead’ve sake if you trigger easy.)

And, ultimately, I’ve got – wait, what’s that the 21 year old video bloggers say…?

“No regraaaats”…?

Yussss.

I’ve got that.