Louise Hay

So, you were willing to try meditating.

Ya know – to calm that nagging, constant cogitation that comes with being clean?

But the problem is… you feel kinda stuck.

Where can you turn?

“I know I’ve been an arsehole for literally my entire life… but could you give me a hand?”

First, it’s tough sitting silently with yourself. And second, you’re not sure what to do once you get into position. (Cross your legs? Hum some random syllable? Do I pay someone to teach me?) I went through all of this as well at the outset. I’d thought about learning TM (til I saw the pricetag.) And apps like “Headspace” didn’t seem much better, requesting the better part of a c-note for their assistance too. Shouldn’t this have been free? Shouldn’t everyone have access to the secrets of their own internal worlds? Why’s some d-bag in a mansion have it and I don’t? That’s when I took to Youtube, and began my quest to cure my restive head sans going broke in the process.

See, for me, one of the worst bits about meditation was sitting quietly by myself – and doing so in an apartment that housed so many negative memories. So, I changed up the scenario. Went to the water. Sat in the woods. Perched on my balcony. But when the winter hit, that became a challenge. I found myself retreating back to my lair most days, and – again – too panicked to sit in quiescence. The thoughts bombarding me gave no brain space – no reprieve from the demons within.

That’s when I found this great audio piece by Louise Hay.

(Best bit about it? Totally free.)

Okay, I admit. Coming from a lifetime of being a sarcastic, skeptical shrew about all things peaceful – part of me started suffering from a terminal case of eye-roll. At first. But then, when I realized my options were running low and my chances of relapse were running high, something happened. That “O” word. Open-mindedness. (It’s amazing what new avenues we’re willing to travel when we’ve gotten sick enough of being sick.) And, sure enough, after listening to it for a bit here and there (addicts are often antsy folk; we can’t sit still for the full 47 minutes, most’ve us) each day, I found it far easier to plop down and enter quiet mindfulness for five to ten minutes. And then I could work up from there. All because I’d tweaked the tone of my dome going into my practice.

It’s funny because usually I’ll say “you can’t solve internal problem with externals”.

But I feel like – since this is just an audible montage of good life advice – it doesn’t exactly count as an “external”. Where a palliative leaves you, this resonates. It’s a chain of mindblow moments for your spirit to snack on for the better part of an hour til you calm down enough to get your “Om” on, ya know? And that’s half the battle. Because most of the time, meditation’s challenging ’cause of the malevolent musing loops that won’t dissipate in your brain. Telling you what’s wrong with your life – while forgetting what you’ve got to be grateful for. Canceling out all your accolades on account of one reprimand at work. Seeing reality as something worse than it is. It’s all bullshiz, but it’s the kind we collectively forget is B.S. Which is why we all need an occasional reminder in order to calm down. Having affirmations like the one in the video, can aid in the process by reminding us of how ridiculous our non-problems are. (Also, it helps that it sounds as if it’s being read bedtime story style by your grandma who’s two seconds away from telling you the chocolate chip cookies are ready.)

Then, when you’re good an calm?

Here’s how to base jump from the roof of your crazed brain into your inner world:

So, no, my loves. There’s no need to fork out two grand for a mantra and a master.

Or even 70 bucks for an easy access app.

Just listen to clips of this badazz bish on the daily, and see if it doesn’t get easier.