patterns

I remember watching the Donald Duck version of “A Christmas Carol” as a kid.

Scrooge McDuck’s a McDouche and workaholic who associates closeness with kinfolk as being tantamount to pain and poverty. Thus, he holes away, being the a-hole that he is, and slaving over his giant desk every night. Then, on Christmas Eve, after he’s put in another nice, long day of disseminating misery to everyone around him, something happens. He gets visited by three phantom counselors who help him heuristically learn why his curmudgeonly ways need to go. Well, either that, or what I assumed: which is that someone snuck some ayahuasca in his coffee mug, sending him on a next level trip down the rabbit hole of his subconscious.

Either way, the whole thing reminds me of how it felt to have a sponsor during those first few steps of recovery. All those leading questions weighing heavy on a mind unfettered by chemicals. No anesthetic to kill the guilt of transgressions. My own mind turning on me… until it turned me. Into someone I could live with. Someone I could sleep with. Sans those barking ghosts.

This is generally the aim of NLP (Neurolinguistic programming) of any kind. Not to tell you what to do – but to have you figure out the answer for yourself. (“Do I really identify as an addict? Well, first define what is an addict? Now, do I fit into that category? Well, let’s see – has my obsession led to detrimental outcomes?”) That’s the nice thing about it. Whether you get a sponsor, one-on-one counselor, or… even do it yourself, no one’s dictating directions. No one’s trying to control you. It’s about you taking the reigns to reframe your own brain.

So, what exactly is NLP?

Well, basically it’s this type of self-help therapy they came up with back in the disco era. Two dudes – Richard Bandler and John Grinder – created it with the aim of aiding folk in attaining goals. But it’s not just one solitary technique. Rather, it’s an amalgamation of methods rolled into one. And because it’s so generally effective, peeps still employ it for everything from anxiety or hoarding habits to crack cravings.

(Or just generalized self improvement.)

And how’s it work? By honing in on three components – your brain, body, and babble-box. (Or, in more technical terms – neurology, physicality, and language.) All these things work in synchronicity – the way we carry ourselves, talk, and think – to create our respective realities. The clean and serene success stories around us don’t come from ex-junkies who maintained their junkie mentality sans the smack. No. It transpired through re-wiring, changed behavior, changed language, and inviting in new belief systems. Asking themselves if the way they were seeing reality was actually factual – or just a function of habitual, limiting belief systems. When our brain’s networks are locked in place sometimes we just need help unwelding them so as to invite new and improved pieces in. Upgrade the framework filter through which we view the world.

For an addict, it’s a gift – like getting the ghost of crystal-meth present, past, and future.

As this one former junkie attests, “One day a lady who I had met several years earlier on a skiing trip…” (we can’t be sure if that’s a cocaine euphemism or not, but we’ll move on) “…and told me about NLP. One point really appealed to me: you could work on a problem without revealing to anyone the content of that problem.” He goes on to describe the experience at his introductory lecture (though you can also do it yourself or with a paid brain trainer):

“I went to an introductory lecture, and signed up on the spot. I went through a basic course, and focused on my problems with sex and relationships. To me, the problem of drug abuse was secondary. As the program was repeatable to graduates free of charge, I came back for a second pass through the basic course. I got in a conversation with the lady who had first told me about the course, and soon realized that she was doing with me a process called a reframe. Without telling her the subject, I turned my attention to my difficulties with women. Several confusing and amusing hours later, she declared the process done. I went home that night, and, as usual, snorted a line of speed. Somehow, something seemed to be different about the experience. Most surprisingly, though, Is that within two days, all desire for the drug had left! I gave away about half of the supply that I had, and consumed the remainder in small amounts over the next several days to get myself physically acclimated to the absence of the drug from my system. Startled by the power of NLP, I vowed to continue to study.”

But that doesn’t tell me much about the actual process.

Also, I’m an addict – which means I want a concise and quick fix.

Thus, I hunted down this DIY version and added a few yes-ands of my own:

“1) Don’t just be here now, think of a timeline which includes the past and the future.”

(This’s consistent with a “think that thought through” mentality I’ve mentioned before. Has this behavior harmed you in the past? Is it reasonable to believe it’d do the same in the future?)

“2) It’s just a behavior, not an identity. Most of the day you’re not actually doing the behavior.

Form your self-concept around that instead.”

(A lot of repeated bad behavior comes from that whole “we’re already in the shiz, might as keep blowing stuff up” mentality. You think the acts are who you are. When you realize that’s not who you are as a person – that there are other aspects to your life – you can identify with and focus on those instead.)

“3) Deeply feel your body and dwell in the negative consequences of the habit.”

(This one’s easier to do if you employ number one. If you can summon up the sense memory of the guilt and shame that the aftermath of habit indulging brings, then you’re more likely to feel less lured in by its cognitive siren song. Try feeling that hangover headache, pain of disappointment by the domino effect it has on your dynamics, or whatever other negative effects that hurt enough til you’re doomed to use again.)

All a great supplement to gaining a clean clan to help you maintain your sobriety and keep you honest.

(Espesh since most programs have some form of NLP built into them.)

You know, I’ll admit, at first glance, it might seem like brainwashing.

But really, if you break down “brainwashing”, all it technically means is giving your brain a good scrub down. Unscrewing your Scrooge brain bits, Brillo-ing down the inside, and freeing it from the dirt and debris that are your old thoughts. ’cause, in this case, they’re thoughts and patterns that aren’t even serving you anymore. Plus, you’re the one doing the washing – you and mayhaps a professional of your choice. It’s not some MK Ultra experiment commandeering your noggin to turn you into a trigger activated assassin. This is for you. So, why not give something like NLP a try? Why not scour down and expand your consciousness? Why not wash the skidmarks off your psyche?

After all, you can’t expect your system to stay clean if your brain’s not doing the same.